It’s been a year since you broke up with your ex. You’re ready to start dating again but for some reason, you still feel connected to your ex.
You’re not alone; many of us feel this way after ending a long-term relationship.
The good news?
Here are 13 reasons why you might still feel connected to your ex years later, plus tips for getting over them.
1) Not enough time has passed
It can take many years for some people to get over their ex.
This is especially true if you were in a long-term relationship and haven’t had enough time to date other people.
The problem stems from the fact that when you end a long-term relationship, you feel like you’ve lost not just your partner but also your sense of self and independence.
It can take time to get used to going out and meeting other people after being with someone else for so long.
All of these changes in your life can increase feelings of loneliness, which may make it hard for you to move on. However, if you clicked on this article it’s likely been years since the breakup, at which point the question arises: is time the issue?
While for some people it’s true, not enough time has passed, you have to know for yourself if time is the problem here.
Do you want to know my personal opinion?
Time doesn’t heal anything, really.
Sure, when you work on yourself, with time you will heal. However, if you don’t take any proactive steps towards healing from this breakup, it will haunt you 10 or even 15 years down the line!
So: if you are still hung up on your ex and you know time is not the problem because it’s been years – look into ways to move on.
Maybe therapy or working with a coach could help you out here!
2) A gifted advisor tells you why you can’t move on
The points in this article will give you a good idea of why you can’t get over your ex.
But what if you’d like advice tailored to your unique situation?
A gifted advisor can answer all sorts of questions and give you the guidance you’re searching for.
Like, why can’t you move on? Are you meant to be with them?
When I spoke to someone from Psychic Source after going through a rough patch in my breakup, they really helped me out.
After months of not feeling like myself, I was finally able to see my situation with better clarity and direction.
Not to mention, I was extremely impressed by how kind, empathetic and understanding of my unique situation they were.
Click here to get your own reading.
In a reading, a gifted advisor can tell you why you can’t move on, and most importantly, empower you to make the right decisions when it comes to your life.
3) You are grieving
It’s normal to experience grief after a long-term relationship, but it can be overwhelming at first.
Grief is usually broken up into stages: the initial shock and disbelief, then the realization that the relationship is over, followed by anger, and finally acceptance of what happened.
There are several reasons why grief can be difficult to get through.
The loss of companionship from your ex, the loss of contact with your ex, loneliness, and more.
If you find yourself grieving for an extended period of time or if you find yourself stuck in one stage of grief for too long, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional therapist or counselor.
You see, some people are so resistant to fully grieving their relationship and that’s what’s holding them back from moving on.
But sometimes, breaking down crying and feeling devastated that this part of your life is over is exactly what you need in order to heal!
On that note:
4) You have not dealt with your emotions
If you’ve been feeling sad, angry, or depressed for a long time after your breakup, you need to ask yourself: why am I still feeling this way?
The reason could be that you haven’t dealt with the emotions that came up for you during and after the breakup.
When a relationship ends, there are usually some feelings of loss and sadness.
But if these feelings don’t seem to go away after a few months, it could be because they are still bottled up inside of you.
This is why it’s important to have a good cry, write about your emotions, and talk to friends and family about what you’re feeling.
Emotions are literally E-Motion – energy in motion.
Now: if you don’t let yourself feel an emotion, that energy is no longer in motion, it becomes stuck.
Stuck energy is never good. It feels like a burden and it can actually be detrimental to your health.
The worst part? You keep feeling that one emotion, but never fully, which is why you can’t let it go.
It’s time to let it go.
5) You haven’t forgiven yourself or your ex
If you regret something you did during your relationship, or if you feel like you could have done things differently, that’s totally normal.
But if you’re still blaming yourself for the breakup, or if you’re still upset with your ex for hurting you, that’s a sign that there is some unresolved emotion inside of you.
You see, forgiveness is often misunderstood. Many people don’t want to forgive someone because they don’t want them to think that what they did was okay.
The thing is, forgiveness is about nobody else but yourself.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you think what they did was okay. It means that you are letting go of the resentment and anger towards them, and most importantly, towards yourself.
Maybe a reason you can’t get over your ex is that you haven’t forgiven them for something they did.
It’s in your own best interest to try and forgive them, believe me!
6) You see reminders of them everywhere
Seeing reminders everywhere of your ex is tough.
The bra that they bought you or the shirt that they wore when you first met them can trigger memories of the good times and make it difficult for you to move on.
In any case, try to avoid seeing these things if it triggers unhappy memories.
Are you still holding on to some of their things because letting go of them means it’s really over?
Well, I hate to break it to you, but it’s been years, and if it’s meant to be, you will be together with or without you holding onto all those painful reminders.
You have to let go and move on.
Seeing their things everywhere sparks memories every time you see them, so it’s no wonder you are having a hard time moving on!
If you do see a reminder that you can’t control, try to focus on your positive feelings about the relationship rather than dwelling on the negative aspects.
7) You’re still in contact
One of the reasons you might still feel connected to your ex is because you’re still in contact.
Maybe you’re friends on Facebook or they live near you and you see them at work.
No matter how much time has passed, it can be hard to cut ties completely.
If you find yourself feeling like this, try limiting your contact with them by unfollowing them on social media or avoiding them at work.
I know, there is a whole thing about being friends with an ex, and technically, that works.
But only when both partners have fully moved on.
So, if you really want to be friends with your ex eventually, you will have to move on first, even if that means going MIA for a bit.
8) You’re soulmates
A big reason you might still feel connected to your ex is that you’re soulmates.
Some people believe in the idea that when you meet your soulmate, there is an instant connection and bond between the two of you.
When these people break up with their partner, they often don’t want to move on because they feel like they’re missing a part of themselves.
It’s important to keep in mind that most people will go through this feeling at some point in their life so it isn’t abnormal.
If you’re not ready to find someone new yet, try reflecting on what it was about your ex that made him or her special to you.
It might help you to find out who your true soulmate is, in order to know for sure whether it’s your ex or not.
But how can you know for sure that someone is your soulmate, “the one” you’re supposed to be with?
The truth is:
Unless you know for sure, you could end up wasting emotions and time on someone who isn’t right for you.
But what if there was a way to get absolute confirmation?
I’ve just stumbled upon a way to do this… a professional psychic artist who can draw a sketch of what your soulmate looks like.
Even though I wasn’t convinced at first, my friend convinced me to try it out a few weeks ago.
Now I know what my soulmate looks like. The crazy thing is, they’ve been right in front of me this whole time.
If you’re ready to find out what your soulmate looks like, get your own sketch drawn here.
9) It was a long-term relationship
If you were in a long-term relationship, you might still feel connected to your ex.
It’s normal to have feelings for someone after breaking up with them, especially if the relationship lasted for a long time.
You might also be attached to your ex because of your shared history and experiences.
Breakups aren’t always clean-cut, so you may also have mixed emotions about what happened and how things ended. This makes it more difficult to forget about your ex.
When a long-term relationship ends, it can be hard to find your own footing in the world again.
After all, that person was part of your life for a long time, and you might feel a little lost without them.
If you find yourself feeling this way, try talking to someone about your feelings.
It can be helpful to talk about your relationship and your breakup with a friend or family member who can offer support and advice.
Now is the perfect time to go ahead and find things you enjoy doing.
Build your own life again! Find hobbies, make new friends, try new things.
All of that will help you get over your ex a lot quicker!
10) You are refusing to let go
Another reason you can’t get over your ex is because you refuse to let go.
One of the main reasons for holding on to someone is fear.
You might be afraid of being alone, or maybe you think no one else will love you and that you’ll never find someone better than your ex.
This fear makes you want to hold on, clinging to the memory of the relationship, when in reality, you’d be so much better off letting go.
However, there are a number of things you can do to stop holding on to your ex:
Take care of yourself – Fill up your schedule with activities that make you happy and take care of yourself physically by eating right, working out, and getting enough sleep.
Go out into the world – Remember that there are other people in the world who want to meet you too!
So go out there and date new people so that you can feel more confident about starting a new relationship.
Once you take baby steps towards letting go of your ex, you will immediately notice the positive effect that has on you!
You will see that you feel happier, healthier, and more confident.
So don’t hold on to your ex – let them go and move on with your life!
I mentioned earlier how speaking to a gifted advisor can reveal the truth about what is holding you back from moving on.
Rather than just analyzing the signs in the hopes of getting answers, a gifted advisor can give you real clarity on your situation.
And the best part of speaking to the folks at Psychic Source?
Not only can they give you guidance on your breakup, but they can empower you to make the right decisions when it comes to your love life.
Click here to get your own love reading.
11) You miss the way they used to be with you and you romanticize the relationship you had
It’s hard to let go of a relationship you invested so much time in. You may feel that you have unfinished emotional business with your ex.
The reality is, people change and relationships change.
You might romanticize what it was like to be with your ex and miss the way they used to be with you.
Romanticizing relationship is a huge problem people face after breakups.
We have a tendency to only remember the good parts, never the bad ones. So if you feel that way, it means you’re holding on to the romanticized version of your relationship, and not the real one.
The best thing you can do is to accept the fact that relationships change and people change. It’s important to remember that things weren’t just sunshine and rainbows then, either.
If you want to get over your ex, recognize that the person they were when you were together is not who you are romanticizing in your head.
It’s important not to get stuck on the past, but instead, focus on what you want out of a future partner.
12) You’re closing yourself off to new people
One of the first things you need to do is stop closing yourself off to new relationships.
If you haven’t been dating at all since the breakup, it’s time to get back out there and start meeting new people.
Take it one step at a time, and start with friends of friends or online dating. Plus, by not dating, you might be missing out on the opportunity for something great.
When you open up your life to new opportunities and possibilities, the right person will come along eventually.
Sure, you should have moved on from your ex before you go out and start dating other people, but if it’s been years since your breakup, a new person might be exactly what you need.
I’m not a fan of rebounds or distraction, but there comes a point where someone new brings just that tiny bit of excitement that was needed to fully get over an ex!
13) You need to work on your self-esteem
If you still feel connected to your ex, it might be because you have some work to do on your self-esteem.
Some people who have a history of being rejected or ignored constantly hold onto relationships. This is why they often find themselves stuck reminiscing over their ex for years.
Unfortunately, this only feeds their low sense of worth and leads to more rejection.
To overcome this feeling, try getting involved in activities that make you feel accomplished and confident.
Try volunteering, going on a hike with friends, or taking up a new hobby like painting or dancing.
You can also start spending more time with friends who are supportive and loving and will make you feel good about yourself.
All of these things will help you build up your self-esteem, which will, in turn, make you confident enough to move on from your ex and maybe even start dating again!
And the best part?
You can fall back in love with your life in the process!
By doing things you love, you might rediscover that spark that was lost when your ex left.
Now you can finally reclaim it for yourself!
The best way to get over your ex is to move on and find something that truly makes you happy!
You can do this
I know, it can feel very hard to move on from an ex, especially when it’s been such a long time and you still can’t get over them.
Now you know all the reasons you might be stuck in the past and you can work on overcoming them!
Who knows, maybe all you needed was a little push in the right direction!
I mentioned Psychic Source earlier. They’ve consistently helped me in the past when I’ve felt stuck in a rut.
That’s why I always recommend them to anyone facing issues with breakups.
Their advisors can help you get to the root of your problems and guide you in making empowered decisions about your future.
When I got recently signed up for a love reading, I was blown away by how kind and genuinely helpful they were.